Essay writing (Social)

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care.

Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, one of the most controversial issues in developed countries is aged care. There are also challenging debates on its financial aspect. Some people believe government is resposible to take care of pensioners while others argue it is related to their family. I think it is the government duty provided that they do not have enough money for themselves.

To begin with, in some families parents are loved as they had been respectful _ nice parents who had tried their best to give a suitable upbringing to their shild . In this case, children would be happy to help them in return. In contrast, there are some old people who do not have any child or who are not loved by their children, may be because they were not good parents. As it can be seen putting this responsibility to family is not rational nor practical solution to deal with in this situation.

Given, the situation described, there should be a better solution. Mostly, when people are young enough to work, they not only help to build their society but also pay a part of their salery as tax. Therefore, it is not a high expectation from government to take care of their citizens who have played their role to build their country. Moreover, government can find innovative solution for this matter. As an example, in Australia, people have to pay a specific part of their wage as super annuation . So when they get old they can have some money to take care of themselves and for whose who has not have this money, for any reason, government will have enough money to spend for their care.

Undoubtedly, having a practical solution for this matter is the best approach. As it can be clearly understood government must be accountable for this issue.

Estimated band: 6.5

Word Count: 300

Examiner Comment: 

  1. The candidate has presented relevant arguments in support of his/her opinion.
  2. The main ideas are elaborated well and explained coherently.
  3. Paragraphing of the essay is fine.
  4. There are some mistakes related to grammar, spelling and word choice.
  5. Overall, the essay can be improved further.